Welcome to the chaos....I mean the neighborhood.

When Emily and I moved into our new house late last fall we had no idea what the neighborhood was like. It looked nice and we had a feeling there would be several families with kids, but when you move in November there aren't a lot of people outside. Now that it's officially spring, and we've been having amazing weather, we have a good idea of what our neighborhood is like: chaotic! Honestly though, this relieves a lot of anxiety for me since I'd been a bit nervous of us being "that" family on the block. You know this family...the really loud, always outside being crazy, waving at EVERYONE, and probably running through your yard family. So now that I know just about every other family on our block is that family it takes a lot of the stress away. 

As adults, this is our first home in a neighborhood comprised of mostly families with kids and I think it shows how inexperienced we are at living in this kind of area. 

• It takes us approximately 3 and a half minutes to back out of our driveway because we have to look all around the car for kids. Seriously, one time I almost made Emily get out as a spotter just to back out of our garage! 
• I've also realized that we're learning the difference between "typical-kid's-playing" noise vs. "someone-is-actually-hurt-or-needs-something" noise. There have been a few times that I have thought I might need to call an ambulance. Turns out little Johnny next door took away little Suzi's toy. Not cool, little Johnny! Also, I sometimes feel the need to go break up fights between neighbor friends, but I'm assuming parents would frown upon this? Turns out most of the screaming is out of pure delight over a hose, trampoline or dog. 
• There is also one little boy who lives next to us that likes to greet Emily as "neighbor". She told me once when she was working outside he walked by and said, "Hey there neighbor!" and I'm pretty sure she was so caught off guard she almost forgot to say hello back. Did I mention he's about 7 and was most likely carrying a sword that looked a lot like a stick?
• One night last week while Emily was gone our doorbell rang. Not a huge deal...people stop by from time to time, but when I went to the door no one was there. I did what any normal person would in this situation. I closed the door and hid behind the curtains to "catch" the punk kid that is ding dong ditching my house. While I was waiting in our front room creeping out our window, a random kid came walking up our back deck. Here's the conversation that ensued:                                                          

                                   Me: Hey buddy....did you just ring our doorbell?

                                   Boy: (looking nervous) No.

                                   Me: Do you need something? Everything okay?

                                   Boy: Ummm...do you have a kid I can play with?

                                   Me: (awkward silence passes as I battle with confusion) Nope...sorry I don't. 

                                   Boy: (runs as fast as possible off porch and into someone else's lawn)

                                   Me: (standing speechless in my kitchen.....then laughing hysterically) 

• There are nights when I go to sleep listening to kids yelling and running around outside. Of course they're up to no good. They are kids and it is late. The reality? I am old and going to bed earlier than kids now. This is who I am. I am that guy who's trying to fall asleep with a nice spring breeze coming in the window and secretly yelling in my head at the kids outside being too loud.

Besides making me feel incredibly old and overprotective, I love our neighborhood. Seeing kids out playing, laughing and yelling, and running through people's yards reminds me of when I was a kid. I cannot wait until our girls are home and can join in on the neighborhood fun...hopefully they are not too freaked out by all the chaos. Oh, wait...they won't be. They are kids.

Tony

Share It Saturday - Pinterest

Oh, the things we pin. We are both on Pinterest, but if you looked at our boards you'd see the things we pin are very, very different. In fact, the way we use Pinterest is very different. One of us has the following in our about you section: "hey, don't tell anyone i'm on pinterest..." We'll let you guess which one of us wrote that.

The following are pins from both of our boards. Looking over them reminds us that there are no rules to pinterest,and there should be no expectations, no pressure. Our pins are just simply reminders, inspiration, and sometimes even complete nonsense!


Tony and Emily


Emily's Pins:

Flowers...

                                    

  

Fancy things to wear...

               

Food to make...

                 

Room decor...

               

Clothes for the girls...

      

Pretty places...

       

Interesting things for the home...

   

Fun things for the girls...

 

Tony's pins:


Running...

   

Cats...

  

Someecards...

   

Random humor...

     

and more humor...

    

Mother's Day

Today it is both lovely and heartbreaking to be a mother. As I continue to wait for the chance to mother the girls I love from afar, I do what I can to feel close to them; like wearing their pictures close to my heart. Oh, how I wish I could show you their beautiful faces. Some day soon, my friends. Some day soon.

Emily

Like a boss

I recently received a promotion at work. I wasn’t looking for one (I’ve been focused on taking maternity leave soon people!), but a promotion found me none the less. Today my nameplate reads, Assistant Manager. When I actually stop and think about it I usually begin to wonder, “Who did I trick to get this job?” I mean, I know I can do the job, but I can also be a bit awkward. Maybe not awkward family photos awkward, but definitely auto correct mishap awkward! Well, apparently I am able to suspend my awkwardness from time to time for things like job interviews, and now for the first time in my life I am kind of someone’s boss…..well, assistant boss.   

I’ve held the new position for a whole month now, and so far so good. I can only think of one email as manager I wish I could retract. That’s not a bad ratio, right other managers? It wasn’t a rude email, more like an I didn’t exactly have all the information in front of me before I hit send to the whole staff kind of email. Oh, blurg.  See what did I tell you; awkward! Maybe the others didn’t really notice?? What’s the expiration date on my “I’m new” card?

I really like the staff at my new facility, and they seem to like me. I think it was the I’m new, please like me Banana bread I brought in. Oh yeah, I’m sure that’s it. Wouldn’t you agree that is so much better to work with nice people. I mean, at least in my line of work keeping company with people you like talking with feels like a must. With a career like mine it’s not like I’ll ever be able to say, “the people here are rude and annoying, but at least I’m saving lives.” My employer serves an important societal role, but when group dynamics are on the fritz my job satisfaction plummets. So again, I really do like my new co-workers, which is good for my mental health right now, and that of those around me.

Many have asked about my career plans once the girls move here. All I can say is, no comment. But really, on this side of things it’s hard to make a call. Sure I have a preference, but there are too many unknowns at this point, and there may be for some time. All I can truly share is that we, like most families, will work to balance finances and family time, personal needs and needs of others, health constraints and educational concerns, wants and needs, aspirations and responsibilities. I tell ya folks, some days I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to see how this all shakes out. I am constantly asking, where will we go from here.



Emily

So...it's May

Tony: Wow...it's the second of May and Emily and I are still in the States without our girls. I know that's not the most uplifting way to start a post, but that's kind of where I'm at right now. Don't get me wrong...other than not being with my two daughters, having lots of unanswered questions, and not yet putting an end to missed milestones, life is pretty good. As you know I'm training for my first Half Ironman distance triathlon and it's going well so far. Emily got a promotion at work and now she's a boss lady. Our weekday commitments are beginning to taper off and it's causing me to have a guilty feeling of relief. I'm just so ready for this house to be filled with four and my only evening commitments to be three special ladies. 

Emily: A lot of folks have been checking in with us, or maybe more like “checking on us”, these days. We do appreciate the inquiry, the interest in our family, the concern for our emotional stability and eagerness to hear good news. Please ignore the long sigh I give when I have to say that we’re still waiting, and we have nothing new to report. It’s not you, *sigh*, it’s me.

March was it’s own kind of difficult as we counted down the days and prayed we might make it to our girls and put an end to the distance between us.  We hoped with all the hope we could muster that we would make to it East Africa that month, but alas…March came and then went. We were left a bit dazed, incredibly disappointed and equally exhausted. The mental and emotional energy it took to make it through March came as a bit of a surprise to me. Although most of you dear friends and family probably saw the stress and weariness coming. I’m sure you read it all over our faces or heard it in our words as the weeks wore on. I wish we would have traveled through March in a more peaceful state, but we made it through nonetheless  We are weary and a bit bruised, but we left it all on the table, and some peace does come from making your requests clearly known. 

April arrived and we had to begin to face the fact that we were now living on the other side of a "no, not yet" from God.  A number of you are equally surprised to find us still here. It's been a bit disorienting and we've questioned a lot of things, but we've already grown tired of asking "why." I know, that sure didn't take long. Maybe it's just the fatigue from March, or maybe it's because we've conceded to the fact that we may never know the "why", or maybe it's simply because knowing the "why" won't undo missed moments. That being said, we still have a lot of questions, but we've let go of a big one, "Why?" 

I really enjoyed the conversation Tony and I had recently on a drive home one night. Each of us agreed that on this side of a "no" from God we do not feel as if we were experiencing a crisis of faith. I think it's because in our faith community there is room for questions and disappointment. The Church we know and love is remarkably accommodating to confusion and doubt. Sure not everyone who has "checked on us" is comfortable with this gray area in adoption or feels content with our decision to set down the "Why," but most of our besties are not put off by disappointment, doubt, or fear. Our Jesus can handle it. Our God is not threatened by our questions, or our discouragement. In recent weeks, I've come to realize more and more the complexity of situations, that "life is sticky and faith is less a blueprint and more a compass, gently leading all us ragamuffins north." [quote] And this realization comes with such relief, because some things we'll understand and some things we won't, but God's grace is sufficient for all of us.  

Tony: So again, we're sure you might be wondering if we've heard any news/updates within the past month. Or if we have any idea when we'll be travelling. Unfortunately, the answer is no. We have sent an email, ok... two or three, but received very minimal response. It's been a bit of a downer. We know the call could come any second, soon we could get our court date (and make our travel plans), but while we wait for that call the days just keep going by and more milestones loom in sight. What's most difficult as the wait stretches out over months, besides the obvious, is that I've begun to have conversations with people who have somehow started to forget that we're adopting. The conversations generally start as small talk, move onto each other's life situations, and then the person says, "oh yeah...you're adopting; how's that adoption process going?" Oh, you mean the process of me trying to be with my two daughters? The one I can't stop thinking about and you mention so casually? Swell. It's going swell. Fortunately, I've not had to deal with this too many times, and fortunately for everyone involved I have been able to remember that people have their own crazy lives and not everyone can keep up with mine.  

All jokes of bitterness (and real bitterness) aside, I know we are still receiving incredible amounts of prayer and support from friends, family, and people we've never met. The most encouraging thing at this point is the out-of-the-blue note of encouragement or spontaneous donation that trickles in to our family. I feel like it's God's way of telling me, "Hey, dude...I'm still here and my plan is still perfect."

Tony and Emily